Who Would Win: Hamster or Fish?

As always, it's been a long time since I've posted (8 months, to be exact). That being said, here are a few disclaimers, for the the newcomers:

1. When I started this blog I was like 13 or something and a really big loser, so if you want, I suggest reading my older posts for entertainment purposes only.

2. My last post sounds like I was on drugs. I don't normally sound like that, I swear. 

3. The reason I don't post often is because I lack incentive, but I am willing to post more if someone wants me to.

4. This blog is not a professional blog. Obviously, my icon is a pegacorn.

5. My sense of humor is puns and sarcasm. And memes. Tag me in memes pls.

6. (Last one, I promise!) If you feel uncomfortable with your name being shown in my post, let me know and I will remove it. (This isn't really a disclaimer but whatever).

For those of you who have made it past that difficult hurdle, here's the actual post. 

Nimah K.- What is your advice for artist's block?

To be honest, when I get artists block I make really badly drawn, emotionally scarring self portraits.

Exhibit A:

But for other artists, I suggest sketching from observing what's around you for inspiration. Or try taking a scene from the last book you read, or movie you saw, and draw your own version. 

Bailey M.- What is your favorite thing to draw, and why?

If I could use emojis on my blog, this entire page would be covered in emojis. But for now, ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

I draw whatever comes to mind, typically floating face parts or faces. I do this because I'm not skilled or patient enough to draw a full-on portrait. I just like to doodle random things :).

Hershey S.- Best brand of watercolors?

I wouldn't know, since I use $4 watercolors I bought 3 years ago. Tbh you don't need great watercolors to be a great water-colorist! (Maybe I'm just being salty bc I'm too poor for good watercolors (ಥ﹏ಥ)) If you really want to know, I use Artists Loft paints, but according to google, Sennelier Watercolors are good, but they are pretty high priced ($40-$60). I guess if you want to be a professional watercolor painter, those are the ones to buy.

Hershey S.- Cakes vs tubes?

I've never used tubes before, but I think I would still prefer cakes because I hate wasting paint, and when the cake dries, you can continue using the paint. I guess it could work with tubes as well, but as far as I know, you can't put the paint back into the tube.

Noelia C.- Do you love me?

Of course ಠ‿↼ 

Lua A.- Why don't you call me on my cellphone?

 Because I don't need your love. ヾ(⌐■_■)ノ♪

Emma Z.- DO YOU DRINK TEA OR COFFEE AND HOW DO YOU TAKE THEM?

Neither. I drink the blood of my enemies. And water, of course! Remember to drink 8 cups of water daily to stay healthy and hydrated :)

For real though, I only like sweetened raspberry iced tea and decaf coffee with flavored creamer. I am a very picky person. I like coffee that is hot but not to hot. (I'm not sure I understand the last part of your question...)

Bak- Does your hotline bling?

Ever since I left the city, yes it does. Quite often, actually.

Bak- How was your day ??

Quite dandy, thanks for asking.

Bak- Hamster or fish ??

A novice would choose hamster, because a hamster can eat the fish, but that is just letting the enemy into your base.

Bak- Gordon Ramsey or Guy Fieri?

Gordon Ramsey is intimidating, but Guy Fieri is annoying, so probably Gordon Ramsey.

Emma.doodles- Where do you find most of your inspiration comes from?

Definitely other artists on Instagram. Also books. When I'm not drawing, I'm either sleeping, eating, complaining, or reading. (I know I sound like a really bad person ಠ~ಠ)

And that's all, ladies and gents! Thanks for all the questions, and please feel free to ask more! If you've made it this far, thanks for reading! ~(˘▾˘~)

12.8 Things You Never Cared about Trees

I feel a need to expand on the topic of trees for a moment. It's so important that I'm willing to forfeit sleep for this, so you better listen up.

Here's the thing: I was writing my crap essay on what my pencil tree sculpture thing meant, and I got all deep about trees and what they provide for humans, etc.
But
Then
I
Realized
What I was writing wasn't complete BS

Trees are so great. They're so great. Like, better than you. Better than ME. Get this: they provide us with paper, kindle, lumber, syrup, pencils, wood in general, homes, friends, oxygen, food, and probably a whole bunch of necessary scientific stuff that I don't understand.

Wow.
And all we do is chop them down and leave their cold, dead stumps there.
HUMANS DESTROY EVERYTHING
Which gives me a new fondness for art, because I can create, instead of just destroying.
I feel like I was supposed to be born as a fairy and just go around and grow trees and plants and make this world a better place to live in. After all, we are just specks on a floating rock in the middle of a never-ending abyss orbiting a ball of hot gas (ew). Might as well make the most of it, right?

Plus, trees are so nice. They don't shout, they don't tell you that you can't go to the bathroom because you should have gone during lunch, they don't gossip. Sure they sometimes get in your way, but it's not their fault they don't have legs. Just like you can blame me for not being able to fly across the country for free. I don't have wings. (I would if I was a nature fairy)

But in conclusion, go outside and enjoy (or plant ;)) some trees, okay? Give them a hug. They deserve it. Tell them they're doing great at life, and how much you love them. They need it. They are only tree, just like we are only human. I hope I have enlightened and inspired you enough about trees for your entire life, and good night.


(12.8 inches is the approximate height of my bonsai tree. This post is dedicated to it. I love you, Chicken! (yes that's his name))

Probably a waste of time

Hey its been a couple of years, hasn't it?

sorry, guys...

I recently bough a bunch of new pens (drawing pens), but the first step to using them is knowing how to draw... so... If any of you have experience with drawing pens please tell me how to use them

(> w <) thanks.

I can't really focus on writing right now, probably because I don't know what you like to read.

Also because I'm listening to really intense music.

I have the most random playlist put together, and it mostly consists of dubstep, violin music, musical numbers, and movie theme songs. Dubstep is really calming, though. If you're ever really stressed out, or if you are stuck in a life threatening situation just listen to dubstep :) It most likely won't save your life, but you will die very nobly :))))))

Honestly, I'm so out of it right now. I'm just typing whatever stuff comes to my mind just so I can feel less guilty about not posting. 

I always sing obnoxiously loud, and I wonder if my neighbors are okay. Speaking of neighbors, the other day I went to the park and did the exercise thing, and I met this little 6 y/o named Sai. His laugh sounded like a monkey and he acted like one too, but he was pretty awesome. Playgrounds are t-

So I forgot to mention that my playlist has really sad music too. And now I can no longer finish my story because 

This song just stole my happiness

You probably didn't care about the story anyway.

Great. Now I'm being all morbid, but I don't want to change the songs because they're so good :(((((

This reminds me of the beginning of "UP" when Carl has this happy life with Ellie but then she can't have a child and she gets old and passes away. And it all happens in 4 minutes and 11 seconds. (This song is in my playlist too)

Sorry for wasting five minutes of your life... I'm going to go eat food and cry until it's over.

Brb, guys. ily

What did I just write?

After hours of scouring the interwebs for blog inspiration, I have come up with basically nothing  something, but it's an undeveloped idea so I'll keep it to myself for now. :P

Let me tell you, the writing process is a long and tedious road. It winds through boring hills of letters, over osheans of bad speling and mountains of grammar is not good, and past rivers of run-on sentences. I'm not even sure I can call this jumble of words "writing". It's more like... IWTBESHISESH:

I

Want 

To

Be

Entertaining

So

Here

Is

Some 

Elementary

School

Humor

(pronounced: Ie-wut-besh-ih-sesh)

If you came here looking for your mom jokes, though, you're out of luck. You can go find my brother if you like to insult each other's parental units. But if you are really into bad puns and punchlines, *wink wink* I got you covered.

Onto more important matters:

Turns out the fish gadget thingy doesn't work on phones :( That means no one can feed the fish and they are going to die :( :( :(

I guess that means I have to feed them. I have so many responsibilities, I can't handle this pressure, ugh! My mom says when I grow up I'll stop crying and being lazy, BUT THIS IS NOT A PHASE, MOM THIS IS THE REAL ME NO ONE UNDERSTANDS ME!1!!1 *aggressively eats ice cream and watches YouTube*

By the way, I have an EOC tomorrow (End of Course assessment) for english. FIVE hours of testing. At least we're allowed to bring food. I already feel bad for the kid who has to sit next to me:

Me: *opens bag of crackers* CHOMPCHOMPCHOMPCHOMPCHOMPCHO-

Kid: ... pls stop

Teacher: no talking thats an automatic 0 for you

Kid: but-

Teacher: too bad kid

Me: O-O

Me: CHOMPCHOMPCHOMPCHOMPCHOMPCHOMP

And there's THREE writing parts. 

Please respond to the following prompt: What traits make you a good person?

Well.

I haven't murdered anyone yet.

(my old pet dog doesn't count he was on his way out anyway)

Also I make a killer strawberry smoothie lol XD 

You get the point.

Last thing before I go, most of you are probably here from my instagram (and therefore can't see the fishes, but thats not the point): 

First of all, Welcome!

Second of all, Thanks for reading!

and lastly, let me know if you enjoy reading, so I know to keep writing in the future.

Au revoir, my friends!

Prepare for the puns.

Hey guys :) 

I realized the reason I never post is because I spend much too long thinking about what I should write. 

If I am calculating correctly, being the genius that I am, I have approximately 0.000001 units of creativity and patience.

When I add that to the number of hours I spend doing nothing, and the amount of food I eat in a day, times the energy of the sun, minus the circumference of the moon, I can assume that no one is amused by my poor attempts at humor.

...

Did I mention I'm also a pro at awkward silences?

...

Yep. I can even manage to do it when I type. *flexes my virtually non-existent biceps*

People always say I'm really quiet in class but I'm actually training to improve my ninja skills. Only quiet ninjas exist because all the loud ones are dead. 

So a word to the wise: Don't tell your best friend where you hid the body because I'm always listening.

On a lighter note, the sun is out today :))))

Ha. Ha. Get it?

I admit, I don't have many bright ideas...

But you have to receive an occasional dose of bad puns. Doctor's orders. 

...

...

...

*Clears throat*

Did anyone notice the fish gadget thingy I added to my page? I don't know if it works on phones or tablets, but you can click on the box and feed the fish. If you start finding that the fish are more entertaining than the actual content of my blog, let me know so I can delete the gadget. Then you will be forced to pay attention to me instead. >:D

One last thing. If you die of boredom, message me from the afterlife and tell me what I need to change about my blog in order to stop killing innocent people. Save a life today! Call 1-800-pleasestoptryingtobefunny right now! 

Thanks for reading!

P.S. Can you even do the "P.S." thing on a blog, or is that only for letters? I'm doing it anyway.

P.P.S I'll try to post at least twice a week, since I don't want to forget about this for 4 months like last time. If you have suggestions, questions, or ideas, just comment. :)

Hello Again

I'm back, guys. There was a time when I kinda forgot I had a blog... lol. But I'm back due to unhealthy amounts of procrastination. I don't know if anyone actually will read this but I will try to keep this blog running as long as I can.

I'm still trying to figure out how to technology, so there's not that much to do or see on my page, but hopefully I will get there eventually.

I'm also not that great of a story teller so most of my posts will be short.

Considering all of that, I'm not even sure why I keep this blog running, but it's a fun thing to do and over time I hope to improve my abysmal writing skills, and not bore you all to death :).

homework time  -__-

A Letter to my Future Self

Dear Emma,

So you finally decided to check back on me. Which is technically you. I'm gonna call my future self "you" instead of "me". I hope you are in a nice home, apartment, dorm, or wherever you are right now, 'cause I certainly hope you aren't in a dark alleyway wearing torn and tattered clothing with an empty stomach. If you are anything like that then you need to get a life. Unless by the time you read this the world is coming to an end. Then I would suggest you go say your last goodbyes to all the people you love before you get incinerated. Assuming you are alive and well, (not that you would read this if you were dead), I am going to ask you some very important questions that you can answer for me when They invent time traveling machines.
1. How was Independence High School?
2. Are you living in the ocean because of global warming?
3. Is our country at war and congrats on surviving WWIII assuming that there was a WWIII.
4. HOW DO TIME TRAVELING MACHINES WORK???
5. Remind me to ask you the important questions that slipped my mind while I am writing this.

How is your blog doing, by the way? Do people read it, or did you stop posting but suddenly decided you were going to read it? That question isn't all that important, but I'm kind of curious. Also, if They let you, could you bring me back with you to the future (which is your present) so I can see what its like? I promise to go back to the past where my fourteen-year-old self belongs. I might add more to this letter in later posts when its not 9:30 at night and I'm not tired and can actually remember to say smart stuff. Tchao for now, Emma.

Yourself,
Emma